Communication
Also known as dialogue, expression
The need for effective exchange of thoughts, feelings, and information. The capacity to express yourself and receive others' expressions in ways that create understanding.
When met or unmet
When met
- Clear exchange of thoughts and feelings
- Dialogue that creates understanding
- Expression that lands
When unmet
- Important things unsaid
- Misunderstandings piling up
- Talking without connecting
Common expressions
We need to talk I don't know how to say this Why won't you communicate with me?
Strategies
- Learning and practising clear communication skills
- Asking clarifying questions
- Expressing needs directly rather than expecting mind-reading
- Creating space for difficult conversations
Recognition questions
- → Am I able to express what I need to communicate?
- → Is there open dialogue in this relationship?
- → Are important things going unsaid?
Somatic markers
When met
- Sense of being understood
- Relief from expression
- Flow in dialogue
When unmet
- Frustration at not being understood
- Things bottled up inside
- Talking past each other
Shadow side
- Over-communicating to the point of exhaustion
- Using communication as control
- Talking without genuine listening
Cultural considerations
Communication styles vary enormously: direct vs indirect, verbal vs non-verbal, individual vs contextual. What constitutes good communication is culturally specific.
Related needs
Often confused with
To be heard
To be heard is about being received; communication includes both expression and reception in dialogue.