Love
Also known as affection, caring deeply
The need to love and be loved. A deep caring that sees and values another for who they are, and the experience of being so seen and valued.
When met or unmet
When met
- Deep caring that flows both ways
- Feeling cherished and cherishing others
- Knowing someone has your back
When unmet
- Feeling unloved or unlovable
- Questioning whether anyone truly cares
- Emptiness despite relationships
Common expressions
I just want to be loved Do you even love me? I love you so much
Strategies
- Expressing love to those you care about
- Opening to receive love from others
- Cultivating relationships where love can grow
- Practising self-love alongside love for others
Recognition questions
- → Do I feel loved by anyone?
- → Am I expressing the love I feel?
- → Is there deep caring in my life?
Somatic markers
When met
- Heart feeling full and open
- Warmth radiating through the body
- Softness and tenderness
When unmet
- Ache in the heart
- Longing for deep connection
- Emptiness that other things can't fill
Shadow side
- Possessiveness disguised as love
- Conditional love that demands change
- Using love to control or manipulate
Cultural considerations
Love is universal but its expressions vary enormously: from reserved to effusive, from words to actions, from romantic focus to family-centred.
Related needs
Often confused with
Warmth
Warmth is a quality of kindness; love is a deeper bond that includes commitment and sustained care.