Inclusion

Also known as being included, being part of

The need to be included in activities, decisions, and groups. A sense of being welcomed in rather than shut out.

When met or unmet

When met

  • Being invited and welcomed
  • Part of activities and decisions
  • Not left out

When unmet

  • Excluded or left out
  • Not invited
  • On the outside looking in

Common expressions

Why wasn't I included? I feel left out Thanks for including me

Strategies

  • Expressing your interest in being included
  • Seeking out welcoming groups and activities
  • Including others as you would wish to be included
  • Addressing exclusion when it happens

Recognition questions

  • Am I being included in things I care about?
  • Do I feel welcome or shut out?
  • Are there groups or activities I want to be part of?

Somatic markers

When met

  • Warmth of welcome
  • Relaxation into belonging
  • A sense of being wanted

When unmet

  • Pain of exclusion
  • Feeling on the outside looking in
  • Longing to be let in

Shadow side

  • Demanding inclusion without considering others' boundaries
  • Defining yourself by what groups you're part of
  • Resentment toward those who have what you want

Cultural considerations

Inclusion boundaries vary: who is automatically included, who must be invited, who is appropriately excluded. In-group/out-group norms differ.

Related needs

Often confused with

Belonging

Belonging is feeling part of something; inclusion is being actively welcomed and involved.

See also

In tension with